Or brown for that matter.

Seriously, when it comes to backpacking, one of the topics most of us want to think about is how to properly urinate and defecate without the aid of modern bathrooms.  Add to that the rough terrain and cold weather that is Mitchell Winter, and you have some issues to get through.

I will be the first to admit that guys have a definite advantage over the ladies in this department.  Being able to urinate without dropping your pants is most certainly convenient.  There are devices for the ladies that aim (no pun intended) to remedy this, but I am not one that could tell you how well they work.  REI sells the Sani-Fem Freshette F.U.D. and that might be an aid for this issue.

In the number two department, the proper way to go in the back-country is to dig a hole 6 inches deep and bury all excrement.  Ideally you would re-cover the ground with leaves or snow to leave as little trace as possible.  You can bring along bags and pack your shit out, but then you are faced with lugging around human waste, which can present several health concerns.  It can become difficult to dig a hole when the ground is frozen, so be forewarned about that.  I found a website that outlines proper techniques for disposing waste.  It is specific to the Alaskan Wilderness, but many points can be applied to Mitchell as well.

Night time on Mt Mitchell in the winter is COLD.  It almost always happens that as soon as you get comfortable in your sleeping bag, nature calls.  The two choices are to get up, get some clothes on, go outside and freeze, only for it to take forever to get warm in the sleeping bag again, or to have a dedicated “pee-bottle” that you could urinate in and store until morning.  I personally have not tried the latter method, but it has certainly crossed my mind.

As I wrap up this post, I am reminded of the song by Frank Zappa, “Don’t Eat the Yellow Snow”:

“Dreamed I was an Eskimo
Frozen wind began to blow
Under my boots and around my toes
The frost that bit the ground below
It was a hundred degrees below zero…

And my mama cried
And my mama cried
Nanook, a-no-no
Nanook, a-no-no
Don’t be a naughty Eskimo
Save your money, don’t go to the show

Well I turned around and I said oh, oh oh
Well I turned around and I said oh, oh oh
Well I turned around and I said ho, ho
And the northern lights commenced to glow
And she said, with a tear in her eye
Watch out where the huskies go, and don’t you eat that yellow snow
Watch out where the huskies go, and don’t you eat that yellow snow”

Listen here.